Random NDVT – Writerly Concerns #8

Writer’s Block – The Muse

I got five emails over the weekend about Writer’s Block. Three from “editor and writing coach” blogs (those people are full of shit, generally, and their examples and suggestions pathetic), one from someone ranting on me after 45 years saying I must have writer’s block because I mentioned they wouldn’t talk to me about anything of consequence, and one from a writer friend who should know better. Look here people. I did product specialist Artist Relations in the music business. I have stories. But I ain’t telling anybody’s stories out of school. I don’t care if you’re a priest or a rock star or an ex high school cheerleader. Because?

I don’t have to. Dig this. There is no Writer’s Block. It’s an urban myth. Like finding Jimi Hendrix’s guitar in a pawn shop for $50. Writer’s Block is the direct result of trying to control your output. News Flash. Unless you have a pre-ordained point and a target, you have to actively participate in the creative process, not force it. If you have ever had to create for $, in any medium, you know that you develop your craft to the point that you jam (extemporaneously create) until something gets you on the same wavelength as the art director or the editor, and gels.  Or you sit, adjust the fine tuning on the cosmic radio because the Muse never sleeps, and listen. And you get a gift. Too simple?

No.

I was going to go into inspiration and the Muse ad nauseam with people and examples. Instead I say just write it up. What did you do this morning? Where did you go? Who did you see? I could write three fake trendy WP poetry blogs off the grand dog that got out, the hardware store geezers and pink (!) wood filler putty. Nothing about Van Halen, Rick Wakeman, or anybody I went to high school with. Trust me, there’s some quality material going to waste right there.

However, and I’m not L. Ron Hubbard looking for a religion to start, but next time someone says “Writer’s Block” to you, tell them it’s bullshit and I said so. Why? Go to a hardware store.

Hardware store
Not home center
Hardware store
I go there to feel young
Young-ger
Because of Plumbing Geezer in a
Wheelchair with
Oxygen tank
I see him against a green
screen
Scuba diving in that rig
Remember “Sea Hunt”?
Doubtful –
I say I need some three inch nipples
He snickers
Don’t we all
I chuckle
Out of social polite-ness
Locker rooms and sexism are
Everywhere
He tells me he was a Hippie
Honest to God Haight Ashbury Hippie
I say my recovery nurse after they rebuilt my
Asshole
Said she was there
Maybe I knew her he says
She said all the guys were horny, smelly leather clad
Assholes with corny
Lines trying to get
Laid
Same as always and she said
No
A lot.
You guys would tell her
You have
Hang Ups and she’d say
No
I’m not hung up, I just don’t want to make love with
Your
Stinky ass
Right now
Scuba plumber laughs out loud says
Yep
She knew me, anyway
Hands me a nipple says
These things travel in pairs
Woody Allen I say, hot and cold
Why plumbing parts sound like women parts
Hot
And cold
I fail to acknowledge that
Wisdom –
On the way to the register I
Think
In Oklahoma
We read about Haight Ashbury Hippies and
Pretended
About all that was
Different?
Geography and
Publicity
And
According to the remodeled asshole recovery nurse
Okies
Seriously
Might have bathed
More often

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Published by

Phil Huston

https://philh52.wordpress.com/

17 thoughts on “Random NDVT – Writerly Concerns #8”

    1. Bordering on first person minutia, which is why I avoid that. But I am interactive, so I get stories. Moonwalk for your pharmacists when MJ is on Muzak instead of being another old guy complaining about insurance and they’ll be your friends for life, tell you all about the alt rock band they played drums in on weekends before the baby showed up. Show them a picture of yourself in a paisley jacket and hair halfway down your back and tell them dissing their colorful mohawk would make you the biggest hypocrite in the world and they’ll spot you what you need when the refill response is too slow. There is no writer’s block! Writers on a bad diet, maybe…

      Liked by 2 people

  1. But then, how would you find Texas? Go East (West) till you smell Oklahoma and then go south until you step in it (Texas).
    See, you’re capable of a poetic affront to our literary senses. “Whoa! The stench on that back pot be ripe enough to kill the roaches livin’ in the vent. Better serve that up, pronto, before the shine go off the caramel colored crust.”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You know people write way worse junque than that and get 247 hits in ahour and lots of “brilliants” and “man you can write” and “cool you wrote that like a writer” and I begin to doubt the audience for anything beyond Reader’s Digest third grade literacy versions of old Star Trek scripts with a crew collage on the cover. So I’m starting a blind sister blog. BrainFarts. I’ll use the poetry and ampoetry amwriting tag and stop corecting myself. it’s sooooo easy. Did you wake up? Did you take a dump, worry about depression or your skin or your dog getting old? Drink good/bad/indifferent coffee? Man it’s all there. Brainfarts. Coming soon.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I appreciate his brevity. I may have to go comment. The 100 word deal? Give a woman a bathroom counter a block long and she will find a way to fill it with bottles and tubes of magic. We all have the urge to “last word” our writing with a short sentence trailer that is superfluous and kills the BAM. Read his piece without the last sentence and it’s much better. Things to think about. 100 words is like all you can eat for a buck 99. Maybe all you need is a dollar’s worth. Hey, two analogies in one reply!

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Mood, environment, available technology, distractions can all be hurdles. I write or make space farts in response to mood. It helps to get it out. Even pissed off, discouraged. An op ed piece about whatever it is, written, filed away in the cloud might come in handy one day. Reworked to fit. Coach types suggest taking characters out of their (our) comfort zones. I go get in the hard drive and find characters or events and go “the tire store! That’ll really set X off.” It might you feel better. You can always take the personal out of first person and have “I” throw a fit over bad food or worse service, or tell a postal counter worker what “I” thinks about the pace of their performance. Or even the state of “I” angst! Like exercising when you’d rather eat cupcakes.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That sounds *way* better than a salad!
        Good ideas for changing it up…plus, if I’m in a bad mood, I can always take it out therapeutically on a character.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Don’t you mean pinkly wood filler putty? Snort. Anyway, i know i’ve complained about something i call writer’s block a few times. But what i really mean when i say that, is that i can’t narrow down what to write about.. which story to tell. I have many ideas at once, i can’t get organized, and so i procrastinate. These days, i handle it by sitting down and writing just anything that pops into mind for awhile, or i write nothing, eat a little chocolate and watch some mindless TV. There’s certainly enough mindless crap to go around. But yes, writer’s block the way most people think of it is bullshit.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It was pinkly, then turned naturally woodly. It didn’t provided the right stainly base, but I used a clearly clear urethane that was more basketball courtly than mahoganyly dark. 🤪

      Liked by 1 person

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