Gambits #8

Death By Hygiene and What’s Good For You

The case for roll ons- In 1998 Jonathan Capewell, 16, died from a heart attack brought on by the buildup of butane and propane in the blood after excessive use of deodorant sprays. He was known for an obsession with personal hygiene. His blood level of butane was. 37 per litre, the same for propane. .1 per litre is fatal.

Ladies, if you want to off him for overuse of mismatched man whore products simply over pressurize his Right Guard.

There will be no commentary on how many in WalMart are highly unlikely to die this way.

Eat the Liver. It’s good for you.

Consuming even small amounts of Polar Bear liver can be fatal for humans. Polar Bears, like many arctic mammals livers, contain excessive amounts of vitamin A and can lead to acute hypervitaminosis A.

You know the person. The one your age who has 2% body fat, a weave, and brags about playing soccer with 20-somethings and offers to set you up on a regimen of his bucket a day of vitamins for slightly more per month than the lease on a Maserati?

Liver was a staple in school lunch cafeterias when I was young. I never participated. Keep your eyes peeled for that crazy cafeteria lady signing for a cooler packed in dry ice…If it’s not shrimp or crawfish stick with the green Jell-O full of banana slices.

 

 

 

 

Published by

Phil Huston

https://philh52.wordpress.com/

8 thoughts on “Gambits #8”

  1. Cleanliness is next to deadliness?

    Wow! I never would have thought of that. Death by roll-on. What a method for murder.

    Nope. I’ve never been a fan of liver of any kind, no matter how much my mother praised the amount of iron therein. Luckily, even then she only served it once in a blue moon..

    Liked by 1 person

      1. When I sit in my office at work, the collective stench of many deodorants, perfumes and after-shaves has me reaching to open the window. It’s horrible. The stink makes my throat tighten. What’s wrong with soap and water when it’s used at least twice a day?

        Liked by 1 person

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