NVDT Random – Say What?

It’s not just the news, but they are the meaningless soundbite kings. I’m going to shy away from “Now more than ever”, whatever the hell that means. I’m going straight to assumptive sloganeering.

I see this on almost service truck for any company with more than one employee.

Background checked and drug tested.

“Wull, he said he’d been in stir fur a piece. Turned out he carjacked a kindergarten teacher with a deadly weapon. Not him, her. She shot him twice in the leg with it. But he still went down for 2 to 5 for gross stupidity. So that checked out. An hell, we give him a four-way hit uh windowpane, sent him out to work on the hospital AC. Now, it took him three days, but they dint bitch about nothin‘ after, so he’s a keeper.”

Certified Pre Owned Vehicle

Certified for what? Not being new? Who decides? Sherlock Holmes?

How stupid do they think we are? And what, exactly, does it mean? Even I can tell it’s used car.

Better Products Via Marketing

There’s a big name speaker company out there that would have us believe their countertop radio sounds like a concert hall. They push it hard, find all sorts of were-they-ever-famous types with engineer or producer tacked onto their names. We bought one. Put in good environments, recording studios, real concert halls, auditoriums, and kitchen counters. I said. “You know this thing sounds like muddy shit. Everywhere.” The product manager for speakers said “Better sound through marketing.”

And that’s it. Don’t think. Don’t ask. Believe what they tell you. Because now more than ever.

Like the kid at the mattress store. I finally had to say, “Do I look like I need a 40 fucking year warranty?” Somebody told him that was the kicker pitch, 40 years. No way I’m looking to return that thing when I’m a hundred and something Instead, tell me is it pee proof if my bladder gives it up?



Published by

Phil Huston


6 thoughts on “NVDT Random – Say What?”

  1. What’s “now more than ever” is the stupidity and how it’s marketed. They say desperate times call for desperate measures, so what do you expect when their capitalist system’s back’s against the wall, their shit ain’t selling and they can’t even come up with new lies, there are none left in the bag they can only exaggerate the old ones?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. That’s a holdover from one of the major networks a few years back. Like we needed them now more than ever. Assumptive sloganeering and soundbite news. Crazy, huh?


    1. Because it’s easier than saying something substantive. I saw an article the other day on weird sayings that, taken at their word value, make no sense but are part of the cliche lexicon.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. But wait!! If you call now you get, blah, blah, blah!! I can’t remember the slogan for the salad spinner or for every Ronco gadget there is… Must be my middle aged memory.

    Liked by 1 person

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