From The Lost Ogle –
Cannibalistic Black Market Castrators Arrested In Eastern Oklahoma…
October 22, 2020
Here’s a story from Oklahoma that even Joe Exotic would think is nuts!
Earlier this week, the happily married couple pictured above – Bobby Lee Allen, 53, and Thomas Evans Gates, 42 – were arrested after they botched a “surgical procedure” at their makeshift black-market castration clinic located in the backwoods of eastern Oklahoma.
That sentence, on its own, is enough to make this story a typical “Only in Oklahoma” classic, but as you know, we’re in 2020, and nothing is typical anymore.
After interviewing the patient who voluntarily sought out the surgery, and following a search of the pair’s property, authorities discovered that Allen and Gates – who apparently ran their clinic under the online name “The Eunuch Maker” – allegedly saved the discarded body parts (a.k.a. testicles) of their patients/victims in a deep freezer for possible human consumption.
Yeah, that’s right. They would allegedly eat the discarded human testicles. In the eastern part of the state, I think they’re called Kiamichi Oysters.
If you’re that curious, details can be found at The Oklahoman
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“Whatta they call you?”
“Well Queenie,” the cop said, trying to keep his nose upwind. “You can’t stay here so we have to take you in.”
“Not takin’ no goddam bath.”
“That’s fine.” The cop used a gloved hand to guide her head through the back door of the cruiser.
“Maybe the firehose for drunk tank control,” his partner suggested, fanning his nose.
“You want that runoff in the ground water? I mean think about it.”
His partner thought for a few seconds, blew lunch in the storm drain, stood up, wiped his chin with a paper napkin from the dash.
“Whatsa matter? Think too much about that runoff?”
“Don’t know why, but it just got too big in my mind.”
“Too big in your mind?”
“Yeah, you see somethin’ somebody says, and your brain adds shit to it.”
“My brain don’t add shit to –“
“You hosed down Queenie there in the drunk tank with all that puke and shit in there and somehow that went to… You ever pulled cottage cheese that’s been around too long outta the fridge, that stink it’s got goin’ everywhere, and gagged when you flushed it down your disposal with the sprayer? Yeah, now see? That’s the shit I’m talkin’ about. An it’s ridin’ in the back seat of our car.” He grabbed another napkin off the dash, handed it off. “Go ahead, I’ll wait.”