NVDT Random – Character Bullpen Series – Cosplay Gone Awry

Cotard Delusion – With Backstory Freebie

Goth gone mad. A character, protagonist or antagonist, walks with a slight supination or underpronation, and feels compelled to spend their time hanging out in graveyards, refusing to eat or bathe for extended periods. Known as “walking corpse syndrome.” Or The Walking Dead as pyschosis. This character firmly believes they, or parts of their body are dead.

This is not to be confused with a death obsession or staged death enactments as cleverly explicated in Harold and Maude.

How did this character’s behavior come to be? The walk is the tell. Without standing in front of the mirror or dropping forty lines of head-time backstory between two lines of dialog or going Disease of the Week, there’s Dactylolysis Spontanea. A disease where the little toe (or even another appendage) decides to amputate itself. There is no known cure nor explanation. A disease and the resulting psychology that can be explained in a line of dialog. My toe fell off. I must be dead.

I continue to offer the Character Bullpen Series in an effort to do my part for expanding inclusivity and diversity in fiction. I feel it’s my duty since we have reached a point in extreme political correctness where a person with an incredibly rare one-in-the-whole-of-Earth’s-human-population affliction must be accommodated and granted access to fast food meal delivery through an elaborate device required by law to be installed, at considerable expense, in every greasy spoon on the planet. Just in case that one someone from, say, Zimbabwe or outer Mongolia decides to collect their ICU unit’s complete array of support devices into a van and hit the Steak and Shake in Clermont, Florida.

Published by

Phil Huston


16 thoughts on “NVDT Random – Character Bullpen Series – Cosplay Gone Awry”

  1. Your protagonist has been eating too much sugar from all that fast food. He’s got diabetes, which causes the eventual death of circulation to the toes – hence they become ulcerated and then start falling off. If only your walking dead had eschewed sugar, then they might have kept their toes. Tut tut.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. The walking dead in this instance eschews food in any form, and diabetes is such an “oh that. my aunt has that” boring disease. Unless you have it and then I understand it’s pretty consuming.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Oh, diabetes. My dad has that.
        Me? You know I have what my doc likes to call “Recreational Hypochondria”, so now I’m sitting here worried my toes might fall off.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Anyone who feels “shamed” that their disease is not rare or designer in the context of humor can go fuck themselves. In fact lack of humor is the disease that’s ruining everything. Everyone is special, everyone’s drama is unique, everyone’s a winner and a victim and they have a flag a slogan to prove it and by God it’s serious business. Fuck. That. Roughly 11% of the US population has diabetes. That’s enough for them to replace several minority target markets but wait…diabetes is faceless and race and gender indiscriminate so there is no way to visually exclude or include them by the standard means. Maybe we should get them a forehead tattoo, like all the “Mentally Unstable” so we know not to kill them when they wave a machete at a cop or try to buy a gun or get a drivers license or breed. And the really embarrassing diseases, like everyone in the butt surgery clinic has…How many of them are there? Do they get a big red H? Everybody’s got problems. Not everyone thinks they’re the walking dead because their little toe fell off. Which was the point, not a platform for you offended my disease.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. If they are “of an age” the growth of latent onset diabetes is exploding. weight, diet, exercise…no one seems to know. Ballerinas, tennis jocks, old fat people, old skinny people. Knew a guy rode 50, 70 miles on a bike, healthy as a horse almost killed by cholesterol and oh, by the way, you’re diabetic. Crazy. Wish your friends well. And keep them away from black lipstick.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. “an elaborate device required by law to be installed, at considerable expense…” High satire the likes I haven’t read since Kurt Vonnegut.
    Yeah, love the one liner replacing all the elaborate back story. “My toe fell off. I must be dead.” Jesus. After than line, the writer has to write something else to move this story forward!

    Liked by 1 person

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