I wrote the ending to Dog Parts, or whatever the title of the Meyers Detective thing with the rude black dude and his unwilling Iranian sidekick turns out to be. I couldn’t find it. I went digging in folders in One Drive from three computers ago. Never found it. I let it end where ended without the ending. And it’s better for it. Lesson learned. Less is often…?
I did find some interesting cut-outs going back 7 years. Don’t worry, this isn’t about publishing lost gold. What I found were things I’d heard and saved, or characters dropped by for no reason, and reading some of those chunks, along with some really bad Indie stuff I’d accumulated got me thinking about words. Nonsense, messed up attempts at real words, real words strung together that make no sense but sound like writing, and writing.
I have those examples in spades. The kind of stuff you find editing your own stuff. Or at least I did. All the personal bad habits, the quick start scene repeaters because I have to get to who’s talking.
This post was going to be about those random observations, but it turned into Way Too Fucking Much. So, I broke it up. Here are the first bits of Gobbledygook discussion.
But first this Public Service Announcement– Unintentional random name generator found in Nonsense. No, ChatGPT will write nonsensical, grammatically correct sentences, but not pure gibberish. It told me so. I’m talking about a different AI, the nonsense text that Lorem Ipsum generates that looks like Latin, or any western language for that matter, but isn’t. Software and various publishing companies use it as placeholder text, demoing how a block of text will look in a given font and template. Well, if I wrote fantasy or dystopia and had to name romantic witches and horny vampires and mystical thick-witted elves and flying horses and shit, I’d be all up in those because any random pair of LoremI psums’s “words” is a perfect name for those characters. Not much good for someone like me who can live with rednecks named Harry Johnson, but for the fantasy writer? I mean, I can see them just by name – Minardis Fli. Tharn Lamax. Flim Nalista (how much mo’ badder of a bad guy name can you get?). Ewayf Ozlint. A femme fatale if ever I heard one, and her mother Ma Erk Ozlint. And sidekicks/peripheral characters? Ut Consequat, Mattis Molesti, Vel Phareta. There are endless possibilities and if you write that stuff you won’t be using the same fantasy character name generator everyone else is. Lorem Ipsum is such a good resource it makes me want to write something just to use the names.
Thought I’d share that.
Non-words – Here’s a couple of almost writing examples I found in the teeny tiny Our-Father-on-a-grain-of-rice op manual that came with my portable, USB charged soldering iron.
2)This free welding connector is easy to carry and for emergency
3)The funcation of solderless is popular with the young people
4)Powerful and Endurant battery
Funcation. Like Earth Wind and Fire? Endurant. WTF? There’s a catch name for Generic Viagra.
Ha. Ha. HA! This nonsense is right up my alley. Truly, my native tongue.
I remember a space filler program from basically word processing days called Jabberwocky. Lots of fun trying to makes sense of anything it produced.
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Poor translation in Chinese instruction manuals is funnier than most big name comedians.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Amen!
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The Dygook triplets Gobble, Garble, and Gerble are springing to life in my mind and should make it out of there in a few years.
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The author of ‘funcation’ has obviously just finished their story about Ewayf Ozlint and is in any-word-goes mode.
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C’mon, everybody now… Get up. Get your func func funcation on!
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Flaccidity Dribbled wiped at the spew slicking the side of her face. “That’s the last fucking frog I’m blowing tonight. Turn-into-a-prince, my ass. And I’m pretty sure that last one was a toad. I can already feel warts growin’.”
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That’s the kind of thing GPT spits out (pun intended) “10.The flying squirrel played a guitar solo for the audience of dancing mushrooms.” One of my favorites because it’s so close to true. In fact, for some at an old school Dead concert I’m sure it’s a verbatim experience.
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