Education TwoFer – You get what you pay for
Free English Lunguage Programs (ESL)
Wednesdays 7:30 PM – Sign in front of Community Center, Plano, Texas
Your the best teacher ever! – Card given to volunteer English Professor of same program
I know it’s Tuesday. I have the flu.
In Honor of The Grammy Awards – The Most Shallow Cultural Icon Nominees –
“I won’t go into a big spiel about reincarnation, but the first time I was in the Gucci store in Chicago was the closest I’ve ever felt to home.” Kanye West
“I’m tired of people not treating me like the gift that I am.” Paula Abdul
“I actually don’t like thinking. I think people like to think I think a lot. And I don’t. I do not like to think at all.” Kanye West
Whenever I watch TV and I see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I would love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff. Whenever I watch TV and I see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I would love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.” Mariah Carey
“Who do you know that is known for more clothes than me?” Kanye West
“When I pictured heroin, I pictured some crazy crackhead with no shoes under a bridge. You never think that is going to be you. And it never was me. I was never under a bridge, and I always had shoes.” Nicole Richie
AND THE WINNER IS – So Succinct it’s Sublime
“What is my talent? Well, a bear can juggle and stand on a ball and he’s talented. But he’s not famous. Do you know what I mean?” Kim Kardashian
Ooops! Make That N for “NO” Carolina
In 1961 a US Military plane carrying two nuclear bombs crashed over a farm in Faro, North Carolina. On the way down one of the bombs completed six of the seven steps needed to detonate. The bomb was 250 times more powerful than the Hiroshima bomb.
There’s a joke in there about Andy of Noberry, but we all know California looks just like North Carolina if you shoot below the palm tops. Or Wisconsin or Oklahoma or New Mexico…
The information on the bombs was released by the U.S. government! Imagine what they’re NOT telling us…That volcano? Well, you see, there was this –
Conspiracy journalists say part of the No Carolina bomb is still missing. Surprise, surprise, surprise.
VILLAGE PEOPLE UPSET
AT YMCA PLANS
headline Central Somerset Gazette (UK)
What was the problem? Going Coed? Allowing non-Christian heathens access? Threatening to leave the EU? Interrupting non-stop Cumberbatch streaming in the lobby? Firing the riding chaps only barista? I mean it must have been something major because these guys are the poster boys for diversity and can’t we all just get along.
Ain’t No Baby Ruth, Geniuses
HEALTH OFFICIALS: POOLS, DIARRHEA NOT GOOD MIX
Headline, Omaha (Nebraska) World Herald
I want to say “Well no shit duh…” but I won’t. I managed (was) the concession stand at a City Park run public olympic size pool complete with lo-hi dive one summer. Find me a better gig for a 19 year old male.
Trivia – Nebraska has the longest, straightest main street in the world. Sort of the way your intestine feels after a colonoscopy prep.
This Explains Everything
HALF OF U.S. HIGH SCHOOLS
REQUIRE SOME STUDY
headline – Los Angeles Times
I’m not taking sides, but that right there explains the current political situation
No Wonder I Feel Like I Escaped
FROM THE OKLAHOMA DEPARTMENT OF CORRECTIONS
WE WANT YOU HERE
Welcome Sign on I-40 at the Oklahoma State Line
There is a longer story about a girl I had a huge crush on in 7th Grade named Jo Beth McNary, who knew me only as “the paperboy.” She was “all that” Miss Most Likely to be Somebody Cheerleader, Class Officer, Office Aide, who ran off with an escaped cop killer from the penitentiary in McAlester, Oklahoma. They lived for years hiding in plain sight in the Dakotas, got popped by America’s Most Wanted, brought “home” where he went back to jail and she committed suicide at 49. If that’s “wanted” then I’ll stay unpopular. And away. There always were two ways out of Oklahoma. Glad I took the Interstate.