Looney Lunes #134

Who Says?

I read a great article from an editor about how to feel about editing. It was good. She used “literally,” which isn’t a crime, and she used it correctly but it usually falls into my expendable word pile. And she “essentially” says to ignore what you don’t want to hear. I agree, to an extent. That article is from Literary Architect

I also watched a Lifetime movie. Talk about fondue…I digress.

What I want to know is, with all the rules and formulas out there, what is “right”? Said only? The other day I read “said is dead”. Unlike the heart of Rock n Roll I believe it. Check this out – randomly Googled scene builders and breakers dialogue tags –

articulated ejaculated narrated phonated recounted related sounded told uttered verbalized vocalized voiced accounted alleged assumed conjectured considered deemed estimated gossiped held reckoned regarded reported rumored supposed thought aloud announced communicated expressed mentioned equivocated sung sang spoke pronounced broadcast / ed disclosed divulged noted prevaricate / ed asseverate / ed (Thank you, Elmore Leonard) acknowledged argued claimed came back defended disputed mewled explained parried pleaded rebutted refuted rejoined remarked retorted refused returned sassed barked squealed screamed shouted retaliated enunciated pronounced mouthed off professed swore exclaimed sighed whispered chimed in stated spat drooled murmured

If you suffer from stilted dialogue, or fear dialogue you can write the most trite shit ever uttered, add one of those evocative tags and find an adverb to support it. Or –

 

 

 

 

 

Rodney whipped a nickel plated nine out of his shoulder holster, and with no mercy in his eyes he leveled it at Martin’s nose. “You say ‘show don’t tell’ one more time, Imma kill you, motherfucker.”

He professed, sternly.

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

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Looney Lunes #132

I Wasn’t Born In Texas, But I Got Here As Fast As I Could!

Senator Ted Cruz – The whole world’s on fire!

Three-year old-girl – The world is on fire?!

Senator Cruz – YES! Your world is on fire. But you know what? Your mommy’s here, and everyone’s here to make sure the world you grow up in is even better.

From a campaign stop in Barrington, New Hampshire  – The Header slogan is from a widespread Texas bumper sticker. Canada can have him back anytime…

Anybody remember 1972? Watergate? Nixon?
Alice was spot on then, and here we go round in circles.
(You have to wait for the Hilary/Trump fight at the end)

Looney Lunes #130

That’s What The Captain of the Titanic Said

“I’ve only scratched the iceberg.” – Andre Agassi on reaching his talent ceiling, 1990

Unless he meant his future wife Brooke Shields, who should be entitled to her say in this as well. Or he really did get into a shred with a green, leafy vegetable.

Looney Lunes #128

WINERY SAYS IT WAS A MOUSE, NOT A RAT, THAT WAS FOUND IN SANDWICH

Headline – Napa Valley Register

I feel a LOT better. Wait. I don’t eat many sandwiches in Napa. But I knew there was a reason I liked wine from Sonoma and Russian River Valley a little better than a nice glass of too sweet, not very dry Napa Valley Queue de la Souris.

Looney Lunes #127

Some Things Shouldn’t Be Fixed With Tape

And that’s all I’m sayin’.

Looney Lunes #126

Don’t Throw Your Calendars Away!

FUTURE IS COMING, ACADEMICS PREDICT

Headline, San Francisco Chronicle

Heads Up! For the New Year – Give 2018 your best shot – Turn it up. Or Turn it off.