Looney Lunes #109

Lost in Translation

Most states require that all requests for a change to an insurance policy be made in writing. The following is an actual communication between a customer and insurance agent.

“Hey Victor! stop please this police, it”s car is sold!!!!”

Looney Lunes #108

Oh, I am so Crushed for You! (Not)

It just seems to me that a billionaire can come in and get whatever he wants and run roughshod over average millionaires like myself.

Crescent Park (Palo Alto, California) Neighborhood Association president Norm Beamer

I’ll get out my violin as soon as the guy down the street pays the city $25 to haul off the toilet by his trash can that four-foot-tall weeds now think is a repurposed designer planter.

Looney Lunes #107

Don’t Bother Praying in Coach

The Lord may travel in mysterious ways, but his “messsengers'” travel like oil company execs and politicians.

 

Think about this before you throw another dollar at man-made salvation, and then double that dollar and donate it to a local food bank, women’s shelter or charitable religious organization (that you know does some good) of your choice. Please, don’t buy these self aggrandizing airbags a bigger plane.

Thanks to JTK

Looney Lunes #106

Good News, Right?

RAND PAUL OPPOSES A ONE-SIZE-FITS-ALL APPROACH TO EDUCTATION

on the Rand Paul for President website

Maybe it wasn’t a staffer. Maybe he outsourced his website maintenance to the same people who write operation manuals for ceiling fans and Blu-Ray players and answer the phone for your cable company. Or…Oh. My. God. The Russians hacked his website!

Looney Lunes #104

Why he gets the big bucks

“There’s no chance that the iPhone is going to get any significant market share. No chance. It’s a $500 subsidized item.”

Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer

What the hell is on their resume that gets these guys get their jobs?

 

Looney Lunes #103

And he looks like such a nice dog…

Not enough victims for your last catastrophe? Call the Collin County Assistant DA. She and the dog will hook you up. (Doesn’t anyone proof-read anymore?)