North Carolina DUH Two-fer
ROOMS WITH BROKEN AIR CONDITIONERS ARE HOT
headline Burlington (North Carolina) Times News
“Men do tend to talk about things on a much higher level. Many of my male colleagues, when they go to the House floor, you know, they’ve got some pie chart or graph behind them and they’re talking about trillions of dollars and, you know, how the debt is awful and, you know, we all agree with that . . . We need our male colleagues to understand that if you can bring it down to a woman’s level and what everything that she is balancing in her life—that’s the way to go.”
Representative Renee Ellmers (R-North Carolina)
Somebody had to vote for her, people. No wonder they had to legislate who could pee where.
VILLAGE PEOPLE UPSET
AT YMCA PLANS
headline Central Somerset Gazette (UK)
What was the problem? Going Coed? Allowing non-Christian heathens access? Threatening to leave the EU? Interrupting non-stop Cumberbatch streaming in the lobby? Firing the riding chaps only barista? I mean it must have been something major because these guys are the poster boys for diversity and can’t we all just get along.
Ain’t No Baby Ruth, Geniuses
HEALTH OFFICIALS: POOLS, DIARRHEA NOT GOOD MIX
Headline, Omaha (Nebraska) World Herald
I want to say “Well no shit duh…” but I won’t. I managed (was) the concession stand at a City Park run public olympic size pool complete with lo-hi dive one summer. Find me a better gig for a 19 year old male.
Trivia – Nebraska has the longest, straightest main street in the world. Sort of the way your intestine feels after a colonoscopy prep.
First, find a bunch of storks…
“What is needed to make more babies in Portugal?”
-President of Portugal Anibal Antonio Cavaco Silva
Well, not having to come up with four names would be another good place to start. And then there’s the birds and bees stuff if the storks are a fail.
This guy was elected, by the way.
Your Freudian Slip Is Showing
A story that appeared in Sunday’s Argus Observer contained an incorrect spelling of a name. Pastor Dick Bigelow was incorrectly identified as Dick Bigblow. The Argus Observer regrets the error.
correction notice, Argus Observer (Ontario, Canada)
Our HR director talks about the gender split & tits importance at O2. Read more at: O2 Twitter
tweet by telecommunications service provider O2
As if “gender split” wasn’t bad enough…
This Explains Everything
HALF OF U.S. HIGH SCHOOLS
REQUIRE SOME STUDY
headline – Los Angeles Times
I’m not taking sides, but that right there explains the current political situation
No Wonder I Feel Like I Escaped
FROM THE OKLAHOMA DEPARTMENT OF CORRECTIONS
WE WANT YOU HERE
Welcome Sign on I-40 at the Oklahoma State Line
There is a longer story about a girl I had a huge crush on in 7th Grade named Jo Beth McNary, who knew me only as “the paperboy.” She was “all that” Miss Most Likely to be Somebody Cheerleader, Class Officer, Office Aide, who ran off with an escaped cop killer from the penitentiary in McAlester, Oklahoma. They lived for years hiding in plain sight in the Dakotas, got popped by America’s Most Wanted, brought “home” where he went back to jail and she committed suicide at 49. If that’s “wanted” then I’ll stay unpopular. And away. There always were two ways out of Oklahoma. Glad I took the Interstate.