No Wonder I Feel Like I Escaped
FROM THE OKLAHOMA DEPARTMENT OF CORRECTIONS
WE WANT YOU HERE
Welcome Sign on I-40 at the Oklahoma State Line
There is a longer story about a girl I had a huge crush on in 7th Grade named Jo Beth McNary, who knew me only as “the paperboy.” She was “all that” Miss Most Likely to be Somebody Cheerleader, Class Officer, Office Aide, who ran off with an escaped cop killer from the penitentiary in McAlester, Oklahoma. They lived for years hiding in plain sight in the Dakotas, got popped by America’s Most Wanted, brought “home” where he went back to jail and she committed suicide at 49. If that’s “wanted” then I’ll stay unpopular. And away. There always were two ways out of Oklahoma. Glad I took the Interstate.
I don’t care what you paid for, the sign said three.
THREE RIDING LESSONS FOR THE PRICE OF FOUR
Advertisement – Penney Farms Equestrian Center, Green Cove Springs, Florida
How much for eight?
It all depends on where you’re standing
BLUE SKIES UNLESS IT’S CLOUDY
Headline, San Franciso Chronicle
Nowhere is that more true than NorCal. Where, in a quarter of a mile, you can go from sunny and warm and t-shirt to cloudy and cold and jacket.
There’s Obviously Nothing About ‘Easy’ In That
From Our Lady of Sorrows Church Bulletin
Evenings at 7 in the Parish Hall
MON Alcoholics Anonymous
TUE Abused Spouses/bi-lingual
WED Eating Disorder Support Group
THU Say No To Drugs
FRI Teen Suicide Watch*
SAT Soup Kitchen/Homeless Breakfast
SUN – Homily “Our Joyous Future in Christ”
*as written that’s a little creepy
Part Two – No Fishing
Seriously. I want to get a big no fishing sign and put it on the front page. The graphic in the header came from someone who stole it from somewhere else who followed my “most superiorly and knowing blog”. Really? That person will never read, or be able to read, anything I write. Ever. The never ending quest for blind follow-backs. Always replete with stock lingerie photos or read this or I’ll shoot the depressed poet who is me, or have a “superiorly” nice day with the feel good Jesus. The big three. Sex, guilt and Jesus. Maybe they can monetize if they get to 60k. Like writing a bad song and getting the BMI check for 18 cents because nobody in Israel listened to the station that played it. But it felt good for about 1/3 of a second. Hey. God Loves Me. And I’ll bet she can spell.
CHINA MAY BE USING SEA TO HIDE ITS SUBMARINES
Headline in Southeast Asia (Thailand) Newspaper
Pretty Clever If You Ask Me…
I read a great article from an editor about how to feel about editing. It was good. She used “literally,” which isn’t a crime, and she used it correctly but it usually falls into my expendable word pile. And she “essentially” says to ignore what you don’t want to hear. I agree, to an extent. That article is from Literary Architect
I also watched a Lifetime movie. Talk about fondue…I digress.
What I want to know is, with all the rules and formulas out there, what is “right”? Said only? The other day I read “said is dead”. Unlike the heart of Rock n Roll I believe it. Check this out – randomly Googled scene builders and breakers dialogue tags –
articulated ejaculated narrated phonated recounted related sounded told uttered verbalized vocalized voiced accounted alleged assumed conjectured considered deemed estimated gossiped held reckoned regarded reported rumored supposed thought aloud announced communicated expressed mentioned equivocated sung sang spoke pronounced broadcast / ed disclosed divulged noted prevaricate / ed asseverate / ed (Thank you, Elmore Leonard) acknowledged argued claimed came back defended disputed mewled explained parried pleaded rebutted refuted rejoined remarked retorted refused returned sassed barked squealed screamed shouted retaliated enunciated pronounced mouthed off professed swore exclaimed sighed whispered chimed in stated spat drooled murmured
If you suffer from stilted dialogue, or fear dialogue you can write the most trite shit ever uttered, add one of those evocative tags and find an adverb to support it. Or –
Rodney whipped a nickel plated nine out of his shoulder holster, and with no mercy in his eyes he leveled it at Martin’s nose. “You say ‘show don’t tell’ one more time, Imma kill you, motherfucker.”
He professed, sternly.