Looney Lunes #124

I’m Sure The Drivers Were Distracted

The crash occurred near George Square in the central part of the city midafternoon, when the thongs of Christmas shoppers filled city streets.

Newspaper story, Glasgow, Scotland

Merry Christmas, Everybody!

Looney Lunes #123

On Disagreeing With An “Author”

“Not everyone is a finalist, you see?

And you’re about to not be one either if you don’t quit being such an asshole. Am I being clear enough for you?”

Dan Alatorre of Word Weaver-to me- for questioning what I considered to be his weaknesses as an author/editor. Hey, twenty bucks buys me an opinion, right? “Asshole” is like a bonus.

Looney Lunes #122

If This Senator Had Gotten His Way?

The guy from last week wouldn’t have looked so stupid.

“I am tired of this sort of thing called science. We have spent millions in that sort of thing for the last few years, and it is time it should be stopped.”

Senator Simon Cameron (R-Pennsylvania) opposing funds for the Smithsonian Institution in 1861. Another one of his great quotes;

“An honest politician is one who, when bought, stays bought.”

He was also a minister to Russia.

Looney Lunes #121

New Planet ‘Theranus’ Named for Politicans! They Can’t Get Their Heads Around (or Out of) It!

I won’t get into the debate about climate change. But I’ll simply point out that I think in academia we all agree that the temperature on Mars is exactly as it is here. Nobody will dispute that.

Kentucky state senator Brandon Smith (R) (The average temperature on Mars is −80 degrees Fahrenheit; the average temperature on Earth is about 59 degrees Fahrenheit.)

Looney Lunes #120

Winning at Football Requires a Deep Understanding of Strategy

“Peyton Manning threw it to his receiver’s hands on purpose!”

Football commentator and two-time Superbowl winning quarterback Phil Simms

“It’s third and twenty. They need a good play here.”

Football commentator, Superbowl winning coach and Hall of Famer John Madden

Like, uh, DUH, dudes…Maybe I’ll just turn the sound down and listen to music.

Looney Lunes #119

Particularly More Than Headline Writers

PEOPLE THINK ALIENS MUST BE MORE SMARTER THAN US

Headline, AP story

 

Looney Lunes #118

And it might be contagious…

ILLITERACY AN OBSTABLE, STUDY FINDS

Headline, Washington Post news service story

 

Washington? We have a problem.

Looney Lunes #117

Religion is so confusing…

“We want to be as open and as opaque as possible.”

vestry member, Episcopal Diocese of Oregon

Maybe obfuscation and mixed messages are the point of stained glass?

 

Window by Dante Gabriel Rossetti
From the Victoria and Albert William Morris Exhibition

Looney Lunes #116

Holy Mackerel – Seriously?

“Let this socialist country resound with Song of Big Fish Haul and be permeated with the fragrant smell of fish and other seafoods!”

official Kim Jong-un slogan

I’ll bet it was just the rockets that made you think he was a whack job…

Looney Lunes #115

I’m sure it does…

Former Vice President Joe Biden – addressing a group of student athletes while campaigning for President Obama at Newport HS, New Hampshire: 

Football, soccer, lacrosse, and cross-country. Any others?

Students: Cheerleaders!!

Biden: Guess what? The cheerleaders in college are the best athletes in college. You think I’m joking. They’re almost all gymnasts. The stuff they do on hard wood, it blows my mind.